


The Start of Something

by ciscoscaitlin



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:27:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24117994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ciscoscaitlin/pseuds/ciscoscaitlin
Summary: When Cisco drops a love confession on her, Caitlin is forced to address her feelings and reevaluate their relationship.
Relationships: Cisco Ramon/Caitlin Snow
Comments: 8
Kudos: 18





	The Start of Something

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MoonlightShines (Thatkillervibe)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatkillervibe/gifts).



> For context, I started writing this during the middle of s5b (I can’t remember exactly when but it was before I knew Cisco was going to take the cure). Thus, this is a canon divergent from 5x05, set a few months later. So no shitty cure storyline =) and Caitlin doesn’t have her powers.

It was late in the evening, on a Friday, when Caitlin heard a quiet knock on her door. 

She dropped the shirt she was folding on the neat pile of laundry stacked on the couch cushion next to her, her hands scrambling for the remote on the coffee table, and paused the documentary she had on queue. She headed straight for the front door in fuzzy slippers and a messy ponytail. Her fingers pulled down the hem of her sweater as she stood on her tiptoes to check through the small peep hole. 

Her lips pursed when she saw the familiar dark brown hair, cascading in loose curls over his shoulders, and in that signature leather jacket he’d recently grown accustomed to.

Caitlin twisted the knob and pulled the door open. Narrowing her eyes and tilting her head against the wooden door frame as she took in the man standing in front of her. 

“Cisco.”

“Hey, you.” Cisco beamed at her, bouncing on his toes in a way she’d previously noticed as one of his nervous habits. 

“What brings you by?” She asked cautiously, tightly wrapping her arms around her middle when she noticed his eyes drifting down her body. Her cheeks flushed when she realised the state she must look in her casual sweats, askew ponytail and bare face of makeup. 

He quickly averted his eyes from her, and tucked his hair behind his ears, the smile fading from his face. “I actually wanted to talk to you about something important, can I come inside?”

“Sure,” she shrugged her shoulders, stepping back to allow him inside and closed the door behind them. “What did you want to talk about?”

Caitlin watched him slide his jacket off and hang it up on her small coat rack. Frowning when she noticed his fingers fidgeting on the sleeves of his shirt, the lines on his forehead suddenly more prominent. He looked tense, like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. 

“Cisco, are you okay?”

He rubbed his hands together, his gaze now rooted on her couch as he evaded her concern. “We might want to sit down for this.”

“Of course,” she muttered, worrying her bottom lip. “Let me just-” she edged round the side of the couch, picking up her pile of laundry and placing in the laundry basket on the floor. Following his lead, she sat next to him on the couch, rested her back against the arm and crossed her legs. 

“Do you always do your laundry at half past ten in the evening?” 

She smirked. “Um, kind of? With our chaotic work schedules, I just do it whenever I get a free moment to myself.”

“That must kill you not to have a fixed laundry day,” Cisco teased her, his eyes soft. 

She shrugged. “Once upon a time, maybe. But I’m not the same person I was three years ago.”

He looked down, fingers playing with the end of his shirt. “Me either,” he muttered under his breath. 

Caitlin frowned, watching his hair fall into his face. They both had changed significantly over the last few years, especially him. He’d grown darker, the spark in his eyes had faded and his smiles had become rarer. She missed the man who would get over excited at the prospect of becoming superheroes; who would jump at the chance to name all the metahumans they encountered; who would make countless jokes that always brought a smile to her face - even if they weren’t always appropriate. 

She’d remembered when they’d spend most of their time together outside of Star Labs. He’d always have something planned, even if it was just binge watching old reruns on Netflix. However, their movie nights had dwindled from weekly to barely once every couple of months, as their days became longer and they’d both become tireder. 

She missed spending time with him. 

She missed her best friend. 

“But one thing that will never change...” Cisco looked back up at her, leaning forward to softly take one of her hands in his. “You’ll always be my best friend, Caitlin.”

Her heart warmed in her chest, watching as he cradled her hand on his lap. “You’ll always be mine, Cisco.”

“You’re one of the most important person in my life and I…” He caught his breath, head shaking as he avoids her eyes. 

“Cisco,” she whispered, “where is all this coming from?”

He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumbs, and she squeezed his fingers in encouragement. “I’ve just been thinking a lot recently about my life and…” he paused, lifting his gaze back up at her and connecting their eyes. “And what I want.”

Caitlin hitched her breath, the goosebumps forming underneath her sweater at the earnest look in his darkened eyes. “And what do you want?” She asked, her voice breaking. 

“You,” he finally said after a few moments of silence, their eyes never breaking contact. He tugged on her hand gently, resting it on his chest and over his heart. “I want to be with you, Caitlin.”

Her gaze lingered on where her hand rested on his shirt, fingers scrunching up his shirt at his confession. “ _ Me _ ?” 

Cisco straightened his back, his confidence seemingly have grown at his own words, as though the weight she had noticed before, had been lifted off his shoulders. “Yes,  _ you _ ,” he laughs softly.

Her mouth opened, the words catching in the back of her throat, the only sound from between her lips in the form of an unintelligible squeak. Even from her crossed legged position on the couch, the ground shook beneath her and she tightly gripped the couch cushion with a clenched fist for support. 

“I know this is hard for you to understand, and that you may feel like this is coming from nowhere.” 

He lightly squeezed the hand still over his heart, and watched her carefully, over analysing and examining every one of her microexpressions. With that spark of hope that glistened in his eyes and broke her heart, and the way that he clutched onto her hand like a lifeline.

“But I’ve thought a lot about this, and after my near death experience last year with Cicada…”

Caitlin remembered that night very clearly. Driving in the van with Ralph on the way to Star Labs, after they’d just broke into her mother’s lab, when she saw the headlines on her phone. 

_ Vibe dead! _

She remembered feeling frozen, her hands trembling as she held the phone in her hand, the panic thudding in her chest. She remembered the funny taste on her tongue, her stomach felt sick and she had to force back the bile rising in the back of her throat. 

She remembered feeling like her heart had stopped.

Ralph had noticed her behaviour almost immediately, pulling onto the side and snatching the phone from her hands. He’d gone paler, swallowing loudly as he quickly dialed Iris’ number, demanding to know  _ what the fuck had happened? _

She’d remembered the relief flooding her when he’d told her it was all a fluke, that Cisco was alive but  _ he was going to need her to fix him up _ as soon as they got back to Star Labs. She’d broken out into a wet sob, her cries muffled behind her hand, Ralph’s arms wrapping around her tightly. 

The moment she’d stepped into her lab, she’d found him lying on her bed. The sly smile on his face hadn’t reflected the pain in his eyes.  _ “What, you think I’d leave you?”  _

She never wanted to feel like that again. 

Losing him was  _ not  _ an option. 

“I don’t want something bad to happen to me or you, without you knowing the truth.”

“And what is the truth?” She whispered softly.

He opened his mouth, averting his eyes down at her hand, his thumb rubbing over the back of her hand. He leaned down, lifting her hand to press his lips over her soft skin, the gentle caress sending tingles down her arm. 

“The truth is…” he connected his eyes with hers, and she shivered under his tender gaze. “I’m in love with you, Caitlin.”

Her breath caught in her throat, heart pounding in her chest, and she blinked back the tears she could feel welling up. She glanced down at where he was holding on to her hand like a lifeline, looking back up to sincerity in his eyes. 

“Cisco…”

His bottom lip trembled, a single tear drop spilling down his cheek. 

Her heart shattered in her chest. 

He released her hand, tilting his face away and hid behind his hair. “I should go.”

“Cisco.”

He was already standing, walking around the back of her couch and shuffling his jacket on. 

“Cisco, wait.”

“I should go, it’s late.” He shrugged her off, avoiding her eyes. “I’ll see you Monday.” 

The door slammed shut behind him, and she fell back against the couch, lifting a pillow on her lap and tugging it to her chest. 

_ **…** _

Caitlin spent the entire weekend thinking about his confession, drowning her sorrows with a bottle of wine and debating whether she should call or text him. 

But in order to do that she would have to know what to say to him.

Which she didn’t. 

She had no idea how she was supposed to respond to that.

She had no idea how she was supposed to  _ feel _ about that. 

Did she love him? Yes. There was no doubt about that. He was her best friend and she loved him with all her heart. 

But was she  _ in love _ with him? 

She couldn’t deny the thought had never crossed her mind, to be the person on the other end of his soft smiles. The reason for the spark in his eyes and the subtle jump in his step, when he’s thinking about that special someone in his heart.

Only for her to learn she  _ was  _ that special someone. 

Maybe it made sense, she had noticed he seemed more oddly attentive to her than usual. 

Subtle touches on her arm and shoulders that she’d brushed off as casual, how he’d always gravitate towards her in a room, standing closer than appropriate for  _ just  _ two friends, a hand resting on the back of her chair. 

Sometimes he’d lean in close so she could feel his breath against her cheek, masking it with a look of annoyance at something said by either Sherloque or Ralph. Other times he’d have a smirk on his lips, his eyes staring deeply into hers. 

And then there was the most obvious sign. 

His breakup with Kamilla. Something he’d brushed off eerily when she’d looked at him with concern, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. Responding simply that she wasn’t the one for him. 

She’d remembered that had confused her, recalling how much effort Cisco put into making the relationship work in the beginning, even hoping to separate her from his chaotic life on team flash. Something she had originally advised him against, which he had ignored. 

But now she knew  _ why _ .

Now she knew why he had made a point to spend more time with her after the breakup, Caitlin believing it to be his way of distracting himself from another failed relationship. 

Now she was wondering if it was just because he simply wanted to spend time with her. 

_ God _ , her head was throbbing from all the thinking she had done. 

Or maybe it was the bottle of wine she’d drowned the night before, while she sat draped over her couch, watching a romantic comedy she and Cisco had previously made fun of. 

Laundry be damned. 

She banged her head against the wall of the elevator, rubbing her thumbs over her temple to appease her headache. 

She’d accidentally overslept into the late morning, waking up with an unpleasant wine hangover that she had instantly regretted as she forcibly pulled her head from her comforting pillow. 

The elevator dinged open and she whimpered, lifting her head and dragging her feet down the hallway, stopping abruptly when she heard voices echo in the cortex. One voice in particular catching her attention and forming goosebumps on her skin.

“No, Ralph, you’re completely missing the point.”

“No, you’re missing the point.”

“What? Iris make him stop!”

“Both of you please stop!”

Caitlin shook her head, the corner of her lips quirked up. A little bit of normalcy was definitely something she needed right now.

She pulled off her sunglasses and took a deep breath, pushing her nerves aside to walk into the cortex. Praying inside of her head to not draw too much attention to herself. 

Her presence caught the attention of Iris almost immediately. “Caitlin!”

She felt the eyes of everyone in the room bore into her, her gaze drifted to the side and connected with Cisco’s. He was watching her intently, prompting her to quickly look away and wrap her arms around herself. 

“Is everything okay, Caitlin?” Barry inquired, “we were worried when you didn’t show up this morning.”

“Of course,” she shrugged him off. “I just had some things to… take care of at home.”

“Okay,” Barry nodded, accepting her answer with a smile. 

She chose to focus her attention on Iris. “So, uh, what did I miss? Is Ralph spoiling Game of Thrones again?”

Iris groaned, pointedly glaring at Cisco and Ralph. “Don’t even go there.”

“How was I supposed to know Cisco hadn’t watched the latest episode?”

_**...** _

It was an unusually quiet day and Caitlin spent most of it coaxed up in her lab, continuing some of her research. 

Cisco doesn’t approach her until the evening, when she was packing up ready to leave for the day. 

“Hey.”

Caitlin looked up from her tablet, eyes wide as she found Cisco leaning against the door frame, hands in his pockets. “Hi,” she whispered, clenching her hands on the desk behind her. 

He walked further into her lab, pulling out a hand from his pocket to run his fingers through his hair. “Look I just wanted to apologise for the other night.”

She smiled weakly. “It’s okay, Cisco, you have nothing to apologise for.”

“Yes I do,” he sighed, staring down at his shoes. “How I acted when I…” he lets out a breath, looking up and finally meeting her eyes. “It wasn’t fair to you.”

She squeezed the desk tighter. “Cisco, it’s okay.”

He shook his head, “I just want you to know that.... I- I never expected anything from you, okay. I just couldn’t hold it in anymore.”

“I know.”

“I meant what I said,” he whispered, taking a step closer, “you’ll always be my best friend.”

“And you’ll always be mine.”

“I know,” he muttered, and she heard a little bitterness seeping through. He clenched his jaw, averting his eyes to the side and rubbing the side of his face with his hand. “So where does this leave us?”

“I…” she opened her mouth, shrugging helplessly. “I don’t know.”

The expression on his face resembled one of a kicked puppy. Heartbroken. Helpless. She could tell he was trying not to cry in front of her. That was the difference between them, while she was an expert in hiding her emotions, he wasn’t. He was expressive, and she could always tell how he was feeling just by a twitch in his nose, a furrow of his brow, or the curve of his mouth. 

It tugged at her heart, the sudden urge to hold him gnawed at her. But she hesitated. Could she still hug him now? Could she still touch him at all?

Cisco’s eyes watered. “Have I…. have I lost you?” 

The tremble in his voice cracked painfully at her heart as she took in the weight of his words. 

“I know you said we’re still friends, but I just can’t lose what we have. Oh, my god. Have I screwed everything up?”

Determination set inside of her as she approached him with trepidation, her face softening when the tears finally spilled. 

“Hey… hey, hey,” she whispered, resting her hands on his shoulders. He met her eyes, that same expression of longing and hope he’d given her the night at her apartment. “You haven’t lost me, okay?”

Cisco nodded, but she didn’t think he fully believed her words. 

Caitlin pulled him into a hug, and he grasped her tightly, pressing his face into her hair as he finally broke down in her arms. She stroked his hair and lightly rubbed her thumb in comforting circles over the back of his neck. 

“You’re not going to lose me, I’m not going anywhere.”

**_ … _ **

Caitlin quietly knocks on the open door of Cisco’s workshop, a slight hesitation in her step as she approaches him. 

He looks up from where he was packing away his equipment. “Hey,” he said softly. “You heading home?”

She nodded slowly. “Yes, I, um, just came to say goodnight.”

He brushed his hair from his face. “That’s, um…. Have a good night, Caitlin.”

“Thank you, you too.” 

Cisco nodded his head at her, pursing his lips as she stayed rooted in her spot, staring shyly at him. 

He sighed. “Look, Caitlin. I’m sorry for breaking down on you like that.”

Her face softened. “Don’t apologise, Cisco. I’m always here for you.”

“Yeah, of course,” he said unconvincingly. 

Caitlin raised an eyebrow and heaved a loud sigh as she tugged her bag tighter to her side, and turned her foot in the direction of the door. “I can’t promise that things are going to be the way they were before, but…” she took a breath, catching his eyes for the first time since she’d entered the room. “I need time, Cisco.”

Cisco nodded, taking in her words. “Take as long as you need, I’m not going anywhere.”

She smiled weakly. “Goodnight, Cisco.”

His expression softened, and the tenderness in his eyes, as he whispered a response, made her heart flutter in her chest. “Night, Caitlin.” 


End file.
